Getting It Right the First Time

One of my information packets given to me by my study abroad advisors states:

"The Americans most likely to go overseas are the people who have been most successful at home. If the people going abroad have not experienced failure and if they have little tolerance for it, they are in trouble."

I would call myself a "borderline perfectionist". I like things done right. I love personal efficiency and organized systems. I rarely enter the grocery store without a list. So it goes without explaining that when I mess up, I'm irritated. Seeing a list of synonyms for "failure" makes my palms sweat. Being an independent, capable woman is really important to me.

Living abroad has been a test of my patience in terms of my perfectionist tendencies. I do a lot of math in my head to figure out the best way to pull money from the ATM, pay rent, and keep the fees down to the absolute minimum. Everything from laundry to language creates a challenge that there must be a right answer to. I knew this was something that I would confront while studying here, and part of my intent in leaving my sheltered home university was to see how I would respond- would I flounder, get frustrated with defeat, and in turn, only sign up for things I knew I could conquer? Or would I blossom in the face of the failure, develop creative solutions and turn any uncomfortably desperate situation into one I could handle?

The result: I do a bit of both. In fact, I feel like I cover the spectrum from Gutsy Problem-Solver to Timid Conflict-Avoider, depending on the day. Let's face it: We can't all be on our A-games everyday of our lives.

And that last sentence shows how far I've come. I'm coming to terms with the fact that not having the perfect solution the first time doesn't make me any less capable, which is a big step for a "borderline perfectionist."